Should probably just unfriend myself on Facebook

I think I'm having one of those 'bad'days I mentioned in my first blog. I was a zombie for most of the day at work until around 3pm when I received another msg in my FB inbox about this stupid "I'm .... weeks and craving ...." Fill in the blanks depending on your DOB and post on FB so everyone thinks you're expecting. Hillarious right? Not if you're ttc and don't think it's funny to dupe other people that you're pregnant. My rage got the better of me and I vented publicly. I had a few likes, even a supportive comment from my cousin. All was ok until I saw a friend's status about "being over people who are just so wrapped up in themselves and their problems bringing everyone else down."

It was from a girl I went to school with whose lovely and in hindsight I should have known it had nothing to do with me but paranoia got the better of me and I unfriended her. 5 minutes later I had a friend request so I msg her and asked was she talking about me. She said no, it was about someone else but she realised that I had thought this was the case which is why she re friended me so quickly to try and apologise.

I felt so dreadful, I apologised profusely. But that doesn't make it any better does it? I'm becomming the person I never wanted to be. Bitter, cynical, argumentative. I won't be surprised if 6 months from now I have no friends left at all.

I don't want to be this person but I feel like I'm in a dark hole that everytime I almost get out of it, someone gets their boot and kicks me right back in there.

I know I have a lot to be grateful for right now but the pessimist in me won't let me focus on them.

Sometimes I think about going back on the Zoloft. If it wasn't for the memory of how hard it was to come off I'd go back on it in a second. It made everything so much easier to deal with but I guess life is life. The good and the bad!